Created, Producer & Director by Rick Green
Executive Producer, David C. Smith
Season One
| Episode 1 | The Black Death | THE PLAGUE 1348 AD | Purchase  |
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| The greatest medical disaster in Western History is seen through the eyes of television. Featuring news updates on the spread of the plague, as well as How-To-Shows on avoiding the plague, Martha Stewart's Plague tips, a Dating Game to help repopulate the empty countryside, and Letterman's Top Ten Recruiting Slogans of the Flagellants. Also includes ads for a plethora of plague cures and preventatives, from herbal drinks to shoes for "running away as fast as you can." | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie David Ravvin Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 2 | Caligula is Croaked | CALIGULA 41 AD | Purchase |
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| He's incompetent, insane, incestuous, and in charge. A Roman reign of terror ends with news coverage of the death of Emperor Caligula. We see the exclusive interview with the head of the imperial guard, the man who failed to protect Caligula from the assassins' daggers. (At the time, he was preoccupied helping the assassins.) As we scan the TV dial we see ancient Romans playing Jeopardy, Martha Stewart's orgy tips, infomercials, The Dating Game, plus commercials for professional concubines, Caligula's newest album, and pet food that's 100% condemned criminals. | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie David Ravvin Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 3 | Dead Philosopher Walking | SOCRATES 399 BC | Purchase |
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| The troublemaker who has upset so many apple carts gets his punishment, death by Hemlock. As Athenian news anchors update us on great man's last hours, government officials and friends of the condemned Socrates argue who's to blame for this tragedy. In between we channel surf through stand-up comedians, movie reviews, a Greek Soap Opera, Don Cherry on the merits of nude athletes, and a medical ad by Hippocrates. | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie David Ravvin Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 4 | Great Fire of London | THE GREAT FIRE 1666 AD | Purchase |
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| Throughout history great cities all over the world have had one thing in common—burning down now and then. The fire that scorched most of central London in 1666 was particularly well document by writers and historians of the time. And now it's well documented by live coverage that begins with a small fire that the Lord Mayor actually claimed could be "pissed out by a woman" to a vast inferno that destroyed thousands of homes and businesses as well as scores of churches and public buildings. Interspersed with news updates on the fire's progress are parodies of televangelists, Jeopardy, "Coach's Corner," movie reviewers, and kids shows. | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie David Ravvin Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 5 | Charlemagne | CHARLEMAGNE 800 AD | Purchase |
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| The story of one of the great lights of the Dark Ages. The greatest European king of the his century, ends his century with an unexpected bonus—he is crowned Emperor of Rome the Pope. Is it pious papacy or power politics? Among the other parodies are a "Music V.J. rapping about the new wave of Gregorian chanting, stand-up comedians on life's miseries, and a soap opera couple trying to figure out the church's strict rules on when it's okay to have marital relations. | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie David Ravvin Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 6 | The Declaration of Independence | DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE 1776 AD | Purchase |
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| The Declaration of Independence was one of history's greatest documents. It was also a dangerous one to have your name on. Television reporters are there when the final draft is finished, then wait to see who will dare put their John Hancock on this revolutionary treatise. As well, we channel surf in Colonial America through with Martha Stewart making sperm-whale candles, a Puritan version of the Dating Game, Coach's Corner on Cudgels and crushed skulls, stand up comedians on chastity and the bundling board, and a Televangelist's stern warning about premature babies. | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie David Ravvin Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 7 | Magna Carta | THE MAGNA CARTA 1215 AD | Purchase |
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| It's power politics at it's most dangerous, and the beginning of democracy as we know it. The medieval media cover the signing of this document, then explain it's significance for both barons and serfs. This episode also includes television parodies of The Antiques Roadshow, stand-up comedians, Seinfeld, and a rather nasty kids show. | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie David Ravvin Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 8 | Pure Vandalism | VANDALS 455 AD | Purchase |
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| The Vandals, barbarians from Northern Europe, had already conquered the Roman Empire to the South and East. In the year 455 AD, they arrived at the gates of Rome, ready to sack the city. They weren't the first barbarian tribe to take Rome, and they wouldn't be the last, but they obviously made quite an impression—"Vandalism" is still a nasty word. As well, this episode features a VJ discussing the contemporary music scene, Vandals getting their booty appraised on the Antique Road Show, and an ad for Vomitorium eating disorders. | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie David Ravvin Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 9 | The French Revolution | FRENCH REVOLUTION 1794 AD | Purchase |
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| Set in the cruel climax of the French Revolution, this episode explores the death of famed firebrand Robespierre. After running out of fat aristocrats and corrupt church officials to behead, the mobs began to turn on each other. While the news networks report on Robespierre's final hours, other television channels offer Martha Stewart, game shows, and ads for divorce lawyers, Mesmer the hypnotist, tooth paste made from urine, and the perfect skin care product—arsenic! | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie David Ravvin Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 10 | The Spanish Inquisition | THE SPANISH INQUISITION 1492 AD | Purchase |
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| Nobody expects it. It's the infamous official witch-hunt to end all witch-hunts, as seen through news reports, stand-up comedians, Seinfeld, Jeopardy, exercise shows for expelling demons, and television ads for witch cures, ethnic cleanser, and "prayer nuts." | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie David Ravvin Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 11 | Bjarney & Friends | VIKINGS 998 AD | Purchase |
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| Who discovered America? Half a millennium before Columbus a Viking named Bjarney arrived on the shores of a new found land, later known as Newfoundland. In a parody of the moon landing, Scandinavian news anchors report on "the Viking Lander." The result, America's first settlers, and first war with the native Americans. Elsewhere on the Viking TV dial there's our usual array of commercials, kid shows, and televangelists. Stand-up comedians joke about the perils modern Viking life, there's a movie review of "Longboat 13," and on "Seinfeld" George is horrified to discover he's dating a "wood-woman!" | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie David Ravvin Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 12 | The Battle of Waterloo | WATERLOO 1815 AD | Purchase |
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| It's Napoleonic news coverage of Bonaparte's last stand. This breaking story is covered in live updates from the confusion of the battlefield, in-depth analysis from military experts, and exclusive post-battle interviews with the winners. In between the war coverage we go channel surfing past 19th Century soap operas, game shows, Martha Stewart, Seinfeld, and commercials. | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie David Ravvin Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 13 | The Bloody Aztecs | AZTECS & CORTEZ 1521 AD | Purchase |
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| The story of the fateful meeting between two warrior cultures, that started out peacefully, went from bad to worse, and ended in a running battle across the swamps on central Mexico. The Aztecs win the battle, but are doomed to lose the war. As well as news coverage of the Spaniards arrival we channel hop through Aztec sports, Televangelists, game shows, kid shows, ads for chocolate, and Martha Stewart's hints for Aztec homemakers. | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie David Ravvin Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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Season Two
| Episode 14 | Gutenberg's Laptop | GUTENBERG 1455 AD | Purchase |
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| Johannes Gutenberg was recently hailed as the most important man of the Millennium. After years of painstaking development he perfected his printing press, and then lost his life's work to his financial backer! Gutenberg and his opponent Johann Fust appear on Larry King, while on another channel, guests on "Politically Heretical" debate whether the printing press is the work of the devil. There's also a Medieval Game Show, television ads for Bloodletting, and the latest tooth-care product, Nitric Acid, which removes stains on tooth enamel... and the enamel! | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie David Ravvin Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 15 | Cartier Does Canada | CARTIER 1536 AD | Purchase |
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| After this triumphant return from the new world Jacques Cartier does Larry King and Barbara Walters to show of his native hostages, explain how the St. Lawrence River leads to India, and what to do with all the gold and diamonds that litter this new land. We also channel surf past commercials for Pottage, a science show about how rocks have sex, and episodes of "Seinfeld," "Jeopardy" and "Slave & Driver." | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie David Ravvin Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 16 | Ransomed By Vikings | DANEGELD 1011 AD | Purchase |
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| It's the Hostage Crisis of century, as the Scandinavian Mafia demand tons of silver for the Archbishop of Canterbury. In Medieval Britain Anglo-Saxon's react with fear, terror and more fear, while their King Ethelred lives up to his nickname, "Ethelred the Unready." It's live news coverage of the crisis, where the Vikings prove the old adage—'no guts, no glory'. Unfortunately for the Englishmen, it's their guts and the Vikings glory. Plus The Top Ten ways to discourage Vikings, the sports report on Bear Baiting, and on a "Seinfeld" parody Elaine dates a Viking. | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie David Ravvin Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 17 | Operation Desert Crusade | THE FIRST CRUSADE 1099 AD | Purchase |
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| Live News coverage as the first Crusaders reach Jerusalem and send everyone straight to a Christian heaven. Barbara Walters gets up close and personal with a marauding murderer, the Pope calls for blood, Janet Van De Graaff's hilarious "Martha Stewart" shares tips on feeding Muslims, and a word from our sponsor, "Feudal Express." | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie David Ravvin Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 18 | The Celibate Celebrity of 1429 | JOAN OF ARC 1429 AD | Purchase |
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| The famous French maiden Joan of Arc opens up to Barbara Walters, before heading off to rally the French army to victory against the English invaders. Her teenaged fans swoon. On "Seinfeld" Elaine follows a trend popular at the time, and decides she's a virgin too. Ron Pardo's spot-on "Letterman" has "...the Top Ten Signs your Commander is a Teenaged Girl." | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie David Ravvin Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 19 | The Big Sex Scandal | DAVID & BATHSHEBA 970 BC | Purchase |
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| The leader of the world's most powerful nation is caught dallying with a woman half is age. Yes, it's King David and Bathsheba in ancient Israel. This sex scandal ends with murder, but the Judean jury acquits. As well there's sports tips on using your sling shot, and two thumbs up for the top grossing film of 1000 B.C., "Raiders of the Lost Ark." | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie David Ravvin Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 20 | The Sistine Ceiling | SISTINE CHAPEL 1512 AD | Purchase |
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| Michelangelo's Biblical Epic, a full-colour, wide-ceiling, painting, premieres to astounded audiences and delighted critics. But there's controversy as this big picture has been four years in the making and gone way over budget. Entertainment reporters sample the audience, and find clerics complaining about the gratuitous nudity, and members of the public disappointed that the naked women look a lot like men. As well, Larry King talks to the pictures artist, Michelangelo Buonarotti, and to it's executive producer, Pope Julius II. | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie David Ravvin Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 21 | Saying No to Terrorism! | MOSES 1200 BC | Purchase |
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| It's live news coverage of a breaking story. Mid-East leader Moses threatens to bring down plagues on the Egyptians until they let his people go, but the Pharaoh vows not to give in to "terrorism." As well, we go up and down the ancient Egyptian television dial for a game show for Slaves, a phone-in show on "Home Mummification" and for sports fans, the ultimate in extreme sports—Hippo Hunting! | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie David Ravvin Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 22 | Galileo Cops A Plea | GALILEO 1616 AD | Purchase |
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| Renaissance thinker Galileo Galilei is on trial for suggesting the sun is the center of the universe. And the old geezer cuts a deal with the D.A. (District Archbishop.) We've got live updates on the heresy trial of the seventeenth century, panel discussions on what it all means for the peasant in the street, plus the reaction in the markets and market stalls. Also in this episode: an ad for The School of Conventional Wisdom, George dates a witch on "Seinfeld", and a Renaissance Phone Escort service advertises "Call now and meet girls who do it the Italian Way!" | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie David Ravvin Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 23 | Worse Than Genghis Khan! | TAMERLANE 1402 AD | Purchase |
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| The terror and slaughter inflicted by Genghis Khan and his Mongol hordes is legendary. Yet few people today know about Tamerlane, the last, and by far the worst of the horseback barbarians. Tune in to the news as his murdering Mongols conquer the Ottoman Empire. There's an exclusive interview with the deposed Ottoman Sultan, Bayezid, who is adjusting to his new life as Tamerlane's footstool. Larry King talks with Tamerlane, Martha Stewart offers a meaty Mongol menu, while our political panel of experts contemplates life under the Mongols and a fate worse than death. | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie David Ravvin Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 24 | The Commander-in-Chief Is A Eunuch | CHENG HO 1403 AD | Purchase |
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| In the fifteenth century, as Europe emerged from the Dark Ages, the world's biggest superpower was a world away, China. Their navy, the largest fleet in history, was showing the Chinese colours all over the Far East. And the man in command of this Oriental armada was Cheng Ho, a eunuch. Will the Chinese conquer everyone and establish a new world order? Will free-trade open up Asian markets? Find out as we follow the Treasure Fleet of Cheng Ho. | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie David Ravvin Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 25 | A Woman For All Seasons | HILDEGARDE VON BINGEN 1170 AD | Purchase |
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| Hildegarde Von Bingen is one of the bright lights of the Dark Ages. She even sees bright lights. Barbara Walters interviews with multi-talented church woman about her life and her miraculous visions. As well, Hildegarde talks about her music writing, her church writing, the church, and her surprisingly modern view of sex. Elsewhere on the medieval TV dial we'll catch Falconry for sports fans, witch burning tips for your kids, plus a chat line for women who want big chests to attract men with... big chests full of dowries. | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie David Ravvin Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 26 | Bulbs, Boom & Bust! | TULIP BUBBLE 1730'S AD | Purchase |
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| Do you think investing is risky these days? In the 1730's the Dutch freaked for flowers, and tulip bulbs became the hottest investment in the Netherlands. At the height of the madness a rare tulip bulb could be worth as much as a coach and four horses. Business reporters keep us up with the latest prices from the trading taverns, the financial experts review the pick of the crop, and then comes the most unusual stock market crash of the Millennium. | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie David Ravvin Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 27 | Cleo Can Kiss My Asp | BATTLE OF ACTIUM 31 BC | Purchase |
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| It's live coverage of the most infamous leadership race of the Roman Empire. Who will win the office of Emperor and power over the Empire? Will it be the power couple of Antony & Cleopatra? Or will it be the late Julius Caesar's heir, Octavian? See the candidates' ads. Hear the platforms. Then catch the results as the leadership campaign ends in a military campaign, and one of the greatest sea battles of all time. There's no guaranteed winner in this one until the final boats are counted. As well, we glimpse daily life in ancient times as we channel surf past commercials, game shows, and sports programs. | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie David Ravvin Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 28 | My Canada Includes Quebec | MONTCALM & WOLFE 1759 AD | Purchase |
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| Canada's French/English debate heats up on the Plains of Abraham, as Montcalm and Wolfe try to prove who's more incompetent. Elsewhere, 18th century nerds show how to upgrade your hand-held computer, the slide rule. And a game show contestant wins a brand new Pontiac Birch Bark Canoe. "Built for paddlers!" | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie David Ravvin Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 29 | The Not-So-Great Wall of China | THE GREAT WALL 240 BC | Purchase |
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| The original Great Wall of China was not built with stone, but with dirt. Dirt and the dead bodies of a lot of workers, according to an ancient Oriental TV expose! It's 240 BC, and the Emperor Ch'in has united warring states into a new nation. It will be called China after him. The Emperor has begun massive programs of organization, construction, and sword control. But power politics at the palace may derail the old man's plans. In fact, Ch'in's enemies claim he's already dead! Corpses, cover ups, and the fate of nations are inter-cut with channel surfing among programs and commercials that explore life in Ch'in's ancient China. | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie David Ravvin Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 30 | Invasion U.S.A.! | WHITE HOUSE BURNS 1814 AD | Purchase |
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| If you've seen the movie "Independence Day" you know how vulnerable Washington and the White House are to alien invaders. Well, it's happened before, during the War of 1812 when British troops arrived from the north, sacked and burned the capital and then... toddled off back to Canada. History Bites presents live-television coverage of the event, plus a whole TV dial of early American news, sports, comedy, and game shows that explain daily life in the land of the free. | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie David Ravvin Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 31 | Spartans, Get Ready to Rumble! | BATTLE OF THERMOPYLAE 490 BC | Purchase |
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| The first Battle of Thermopylae may well be the most lopsided confrontation in history. Tens of thousands of invading Persians run against 300 Spartans! Who will win? The answer may not surprise you. Done as a spoof of modern wrestling, this show explains the power politics behind one of the most celebrated defeats in military history. As well, game show and TV commercials highlight the sometimes bizarre and brutal aspects of daily life in the toughest of the Ancient Greek city-states. | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie David Ravvin Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 32 | Welcome To Oz | AUSTRALIA 1787 AD | Purchase |
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| A crime wave, gangs of criminals, Oz, incarceration. No, it's not the TV drama "Oz", it's England in the 1780's! Crime is rampant, no one feels safe, and authorities are desperate to take back the streets. The result? Criminals sent to the ultimate in solitary confinement—the other side of the world. As well we channel surf through television as it might have been during one of Europe's most tumultuous eras. | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie David Ravvin Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 33 | The Tiananmen Square of 532 AD | JUSTINIAN 532 AD | Purchase |
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| The western half of the Roman Empire has fallen a century before. But the eastern half, with it's capital in Constantinople, lived on for another thousand years. One early Emperor, Justinian, dreams of rebuilding the Empire, restoring the glory of Imperial Rome, and creating a lasting legacy of law and order. But his citizens are in revolt, demanding an end to the massive taxes for military spending. It's people power versus heavily armed Centurions. Guess who prevails? Intercut with our main story are game shows, commercials and other TV programs that explore life in the Holy Roman Empire. | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie David Ravvin Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 34 | The Pregnant Pirates | PIRATES 1720 AD | Purchase |
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| There are many wild tales involving the buccaneers of the high seas, but the capture and trial of two women pirates, Anne Bonney and Mary Read has to be the most bizarre. Their trial captured public attention, but when the girls announce they are pregnancy, the standard punishment of the death penalty is up in the air. As well, we channel surf past pirate programs such as "Operation" where the ship's doctor is the chef, and ads for pirate footwear. | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie David Ravvin Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 35 | The King Has Left The Building | CATHERINE THE GREAT 1774 AD | Purchase |
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| Catherine the Great ruled Russia with an firm hand. However she faced a lot of opposition from her dead husband, who kept reappearing, claiming he was still alive and ready to lead another army of rabble to reclaim his throne. The latest pretender to the throne is a short Russian, peasant named Pugachev who claims he is actually the tall, German, aristocrat Peter. Is he the serfs savior, or a Tsar impersonator? We channel surf between news reports of the revolting peasants and a "Barbara Walters" interview with Catherine herself. We also go channel surfing past commercials, game shows and other programs that explore daily life in revolt wracked Russia. | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie David Ravvin Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 36 | Shakespeare in Love - Drake in Battle | SPANISH ARMADA 1582 AD | Purchase |
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| The true story of Sir Francis Drake's famous victory over the Spanish Armada. As life coverage of the battle reveals, it's a combination of luck, strategy, and timing. It's covered as an unfolding news story with both nations waiting word as to who will be victorious. Elsewhere on the TV dial other programs and ads reveal the trials and tribulations of daily life in England, including "the Top Ten Signs you're entering a Renaissance." | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie David Ravvin Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 37 | Everything You Need to Know About God | COUNCIL OF NICEA 325 AD | Purchase |
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| In the fourth century both Christianity and the traditionally pagan Roman Empire are wracked by arguments over beliefs and dogma. Roman Emperor Constantine takes time out from reorganizing and rebuilding the Empire to gather the church's best and brightest together to decide on what's what with God. The decisions made under this former pagan leader will remain matters of faith for most of the Christian churches today. As well, we channels surf through a variety of programs and commercials that explore life in the waning days of the Roman Empire. | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie David Ravvin Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 38 | "Pilot" The Gods Must Be Angry | VESUVIUS BURIES POMPEII 79 AD | Purchase |
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| This is the pilot for the History Bites series, and it explores the breaking story of one of the great disasters in History, the eruption of Mount Vesuvius that buried, and ultimatley preserved, the city of Pompeii. The historical facts are presented through an imaginary ancient Roman television broadcast. As well, host Rick Green takes us channel surfing to show ancient Roman sports broadcasts and commercials which answer the question, "What did they use for toilet tissue before paper was invented?" The answer, like the whole show, will surprise you! | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie David Ravvin Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 39 | The End Of The World | THE MILLENNIUM SPECIAL 999 AD | Purchase |
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"Get ready! Cause at midnight tonight, New Years Eve, the big ball
is going to drop! That's right, the moon will crash into the earth and
the world will end." Dick Clark hosts the First Millennium Rockin'
New Years Eve. Change channels for a report on the Y1K bug, "Why
didn't someone foresee our calendars were going to need an extra digit?"
Then it's an ad for a Y1K survival kit—the bible. |
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| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie David Ravvin Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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Season Three
| Episode 40 | Vikings a la Mode | ROLLO THE VIKING 911 AD | Purchase |
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| When the Vikings invaded France in 911, King Charles didn't call 911. He said, "You want a ransom to leave my land? Forget it. Rule the land. See how you like it." Suddenly the war lords had become landlords. Can fighters learn farming? Will home ownership civilize the Northmen? Ted Koppel and Larry King investigate. Elsewhere Dennis Miller reviews the Viking news, Entertainment Tonight reports on a Viking Celebrity wedding, and a phone-in show offers insight into Viking Laws. | ||||
| Written by: Eric Lunsky Duncan McKenzie Amy McKenzie Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green Eric Lunsky |
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| Episode 41 | The Captain Who Couldn't Sail Straight | HUDSON 1611 AD | Purchase |
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| The bizarre mutiny of Henry Hudson's crew and the trial of the survivors who made it back to England. Who's to blame? The crew men who made it home? Or the heroic Hudson. Ron Pardo plays the hapless Hudson as Homer Simpson, and the voyage becomes a spoof of the Blair Witch Project. As well, the show goes channel surfing past a variety of programs and commercials which reveal what life was like in seventeenth century Europe. | ||||
| Written by: Duncan McKenzie Amy McKenzie Eric Lunsky Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green Duncan McKenzie |
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| Episode 42 | Battle of the Anti-Popes | THREE POPES 1409 AD | Purchase |
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| In 1490 there were two Popes in Europe, each claiming to be the one true leader of the Church, and each competing for power. A Television-eye look at the great schism, as Larry King and news anchors interview the sparring Popes. The solution, a third Pope. It happened, and we're there live to cover the confusion. There's also commentary from "Dennis Miller" and a commercial that urges the faithful to "take the Popesy Challenge." | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 43 | There's Nero Business Like Show Business | NERO 65 AD | Purchase |
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| Nowadays, show biz people are jumping into politics. In 65 AD the most powerful politician in the world wanted to be an entertainer. The story of a corrupt Emperor leading a corrupt government during a time of great economic prosperity as Nero guest stars on Late Night With David Letterman. Meanwhile over on 20/20, an investigation shows that Nero's budding show business career is killing actors more than audiences. As well this episode features parodies of Politically Incorrect, and Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green Jack Mosshammer |
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| Episode 44 | Truth Or Prayer, The Crusade Tour | ELEANOR OF AQUITAINE 1147 AD | Purchase |
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| The Blonde Ambition tour of the sexy and beautiful Queen of France, who goes to the Holy Land on a mission from God. Done as a parody of Madonna's movie, Truth or Dare, it's a medieval mock-umentary that follows the crusading antics of the original "Material Girl". As well, we channel surf past all manner of medieval TV shows and commercials about 'feminine hygiene' in the Middle Ages and "The best of the bawdy songs of William the Troubador!" | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 45 | Goodbye Tudor Rose | HENRY & CATHERINE 1542 AD | Purchase |
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| The death of a much loved, in fact overly loved, royal. In a sly spoof of the media frenzy around another scandal plagued Royal, we look at Catherine Howard, Henry the 8th's sixth. There's news coverage with reaction from ordinary citizens, palace spokesmen, her family, his family, and pretty much everyone else in England. The media frenzy that turns into a media circus. But as we channel surf around the Renaissance TV dial we see some networks are still carrying sports, game shows, and commercials. | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 46 | The Dueling Transvestite | CHEVALIER D'EON 1776 AD | Purchase |
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| The French revolution is beginning to bubble over. In America the revolution is in full swing. As the world shakes under political change and technological breakthroughs all anyone can talk about is the guy who might be a gal. The true, bizarre story of a French diplomat who suddenly announced he was a woman and blackmailed the King of France into buying him a closet full of ladies wear. Larry King talks to her in person, while other channels feed the media frenzy that erupted over this cross-dressing diplomat. | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 47 | Rebel With A Cause | JESUS 33 AD | Purchase |
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| The story of the trial and crucifixion of Jesus, told from the Roman perspective. To Christians it's the greatest tragedy and triumph. To the Romans, it's just another local political problem to be dealt with in the Roman Way. Harshly. Follow a special 20/20 investigation that delves deep into this new "cult" of Christianity. The show also channel surfs past Judge Judy, Roman talk shows, and commercials for the many Rome-approved religions. | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 48 | Dracula's Evil Twin | VLAD THE IMPALER 1400'S AD | Purchase |
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| The legend of Dracula was inspired by the life of medieval madman Vlad the Impaler, a Wallachian Prince who was actually far more frightening than any vampire or movie monster. And after banishment, punishment and disgrace, he's back and on the throne again! Barbara Walter talks to the monster who claims he has a good sense of humour and can bring law and order to his Balkan state. Plus reaction out on the stree to the news that "He's baaaack." | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 49 | Neolithic Park | NEOLITHIC 6,000 BC | Purchase |
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| A look back 6000 years ago as humans discover agriculture, mining, and new tool making techniques. As hunting is replaced by agriculture experts question the safety of these Genetically Engineered food. A spoof on the issues of progress and technology facing our modern world. "Martha Stewart" demonstrates how to prepare the new foods, and how to decorate skull for your "skull cult." Other features include a "medical-reality" show where the solution to every emergency is to "drill a hole in the skull to release the demons," a look at primitive art, and genetic engineering of crops and animals by something called selective breeding. | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 50 | My Pharaoh Lady | HAT SHEP SUT 1500 BC | Purchase |
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| In Ancient Egypt only men could become Pharaoh. And only men have beards. So that can't be a woman on the throne, cause she has a beard. Or rather, he has a beard. Hatshepsut, the ambitious and powerful ruler of the world's greatest Empire goes on the David Letterman show to explain why she's the woman who should be King. Meanwhile, her jealous nephew, tells Barbara Walters that he should be wearing the beard. Even if he is too young to actually grown his own. | ||||
| Written by: Eric Lunsky Danny DiTata Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green Sam Kalilieh Eric Lunsky |
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| Episode 51 | Between Me & My Calvin | CALVIN 1553 AD | Purchase |
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| Protestantism proves that it can be just as intolerant, narrow-minded, and politically motivated as the Catholic Church he was trying to replace. Judge Judy listens to both sides of a court case involving John Calvin and a French scholar who wants to be part of the new Protestant movement. Elsewhere on the Protestant dial there's teenage angst on "Dawson's Creek" and on "Law and Ordinances", a Catholic is charged with harbouring saints. | ||||
| Written by: Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green Amy McKenzie |
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| Episode 52 | Alexander's Wartime Band | ALEXANDER 323 BC | Purchase |
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| The story of the ambitious kid who built an empire that spanned the known world. He's the Bill Gates of 340 BC. Done as live coverage of a press conference to announce his latest acquisition in a hostile takeover, namely India. But the man who grabbed more land in less time that perhaps anyone in History is suddenly felled by a terrible disease—homesickness. As well, we channel surf past a plethora of ancient Greek television shows and commercial parodies. | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 53 | Monk On A Hot Tin Roof | SAVONAROLA 1490 AD | Purchase |
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| A priest takes over Florence. He kicks out the Royalty, bans the church, claims only he has the ear of God and starts running things his way. The church fights back and after a series of challenges both sides agree to a trial by ordeal. Whoever walks on the fire and doesn't blister his feet is the winner. It's a live-sports broadcast from the opening heresies to the sudden death deluge. And of course there's a whole television dial of game shows, talk shows, and commercials that reveal life in the Renaissance world. | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 54 | Glengarry Glen Baa | HIGHLAND CLEARANCE 1814 AD | Purchase |
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| As the Industrial Revolution began there was a huge demand for wool. And English landlords who owned vast tracts of Scotland discovered that sheep were more profitable than Scottish tenant-farmers. So the farmers were given the boot, and the sheep were given the fields. Ethnic cleansing for pasture? There are news reports, commercial parodies, and Larry King's lowdown on what's going on. As well, "Ziggy" talk to hot author Mary Woolstonecraft Shelley about why men are such "Frankensteins." | ||||
| Written by: Amy McKenzie Eric Lunsky Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green Sam Kalilieh Bob Martin |
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| Episode 55 | Saladin's Last Stand | SALADIN 1192 AD | Purchase |
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| The story of the man who stopped the Crusaders, a hero of Islam who was so respected by the invaders from Europe they figured he had to be a Christian. We follow the struggle for the heart and mind of a Crusader boy who's been captured by Saladin's followers. Shades of Elian Gonzalez. Interspersed with live news coverage of the hostage taking are Nightline interviews, Letterman's Top Ten, and reports on the progress of the Crusades. | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 56 | The Mounties' Comical Ride | RCMP 1874 | Purchase |
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| The bumbling and disorganization behind the North West Mounted Police's great trek to the west, as the featured on the gritty reality series 'COPS.' It's a story of incompetence, and ignorance of the land, the natives, and the climate of Canada. In between we channel surf past Politically Incorrect guests discussing the latest Indian massacre, Larry King talking with a rather tipsy Prime Minister John A MacDonald, and ads for "Fort Whoop Up" a la Bud Lights "Wazzup" ads. | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green Sam Kalilieh Bob Martin |
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| Episode 57 | The Man Who Wouldn't Be King | CROMWELL 1649 AD | Purchase |
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| The television profile of Oliver Cromwell, a harsh Puritan who had King Charles the first beheaded vows to bring Parliamentary democracy to England. Or else more heads will roll. The documentary shows Cromwell warts and all, at home and work. There's also parodies of Politically Incorrect, where the hot topic is, "What should England do about the Jews?" and a commercial for Puritan wash detergent which takes the colour out of life. | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 58 | A New Angle On The Gods | PYTHAGORAS 560 BC | Purchase |
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| In Ancient Greece the sum of the square of the two sides equals the meaning of life as the cult of numbers expands geometrically. Will Pythagoras and his followers replace Mount Olympus with Mathematics? It's not science vs religion, it's science as religion on a special 20/20 investigative report on this strange new cult of numbers. As well we channel surf past other TV channels for a look at life in the classical era. | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 59 | When Irish Eyes Are Starvin' | IRISH POTATO FAMINE 1840'S AD | Purchase |
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| The great Irish Potato famine that caused a huge wave of immigrants to leave the old world for Canada. It's a story of immigration and economics done as a telethon to raise money for food, or money to ship the Irish off to the new world. There are also on-the-street interviews with apathetic English citizens, and Larry King grills the politicians who did too little, too late. Other parodies include Dennis Miller offering his thoughts, Martha Stewart on how to cook for a famine, and the game show "Who Wants To Have A Wee Bit Of Potato?" | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 60 | Gladiators: Too Hot For TV | WOMEN GLADIATORS 100 AD | Purchase |
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| Is a woman's place at home tending the slaves, or can they break into this all-male, all-wild animal, all condemned criminal, all doomed Christian preserve? Girl gladiators? Novelty act, or the next big thing in entertainment? As well as Nightline coverage and live broadcasts from the Colosseum, this episode features Letterman's Top Ten Rejected Gladiator Salutes, Dennis Miller on the days Roman headlines, an ad for Gladiator owners, and Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 61 | The First Emperor | SARGON 2,500 BC | Purchase |
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| The story of the world's first Emperor, a man who conquered Mesopotamia in 2500 BC and set the pattern for innumerable brutal bullies to come. Barbara Walters talks to the great man himself, while on other channels there's game shows, commercials, and zany comedian "Tom Ak'Green" dressing as a temple virgin and getting himself gutted. | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Eric Lunsky Amy McKenzie Duncan McKenzie Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 62 | There's Gold In Them Thar Beavers | RADISSON & GROS 1660'S AD | Purchase |
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| They established an empire that eventually covered one twelfth of the earth's surface, ten times larger than the Holy Roman Empire. A dynasty built on rodent belly hair, The Hudson Bay Company. Then they got cheated out of their profits. Corporate monopolies, golden handshakes, and national conglomerates. It's the biggest business story of all time and Barbara Walters has exclusive interviews with these two amazing characters. As well there are game shows, phone-in shows, and Martha Stewart's beaver pelt tips. | ||||
| Written by: Amy McKenzie Eric Lunsky Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green Sam Kalilieh |
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| Episode 63 | The Shootout At Fly's Photographic Studio | O.K. CORRAL 1880 AD | Purchase |
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| The true facts behind the now mythical Shootout At The OK Corral, showing how the American media glamourized violence, and made heroes out of criminals as far back as the 1800's. Barbara Walters and the 20/20 team investigate the situation, while on other channels we see game shows, ads for dance hall girls, an infomercial for a vibrating girdle, and David Letterman's Top Ten Complaints About Tombstone Cops. | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Jeremy Winkels Jason Taniguchi Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green Danny DiTata Sam Kalilieh |
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Season Four
| Episode 64 | The Day The Island Stood Still | COLUMBUS 1492 AD | Purchase |
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| The fourth season of History Bites kicks off with a hilarious movie parody. It's the discovery of America from the perspective of the Americans who were discovered. The History Bites team presents the Arawak Indian's view of Columbus's arrival as a sharp parody of the black and white sci-fi classic, The Day The Earth Stood Still. Technologically superior creatures arrive in fantastic ships to offer the natives things they'd never imagined. Such as disease, slavery, and destruction of their way of life. As well as our movie, we channel surf among other New World TV Channels that might have been around in 1492 with shows like "Thinkin' Incan," a commercial for the Aztec version of Viagra, and a spoof of Andy Rooney as an Apache Indian. | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 65 | Love & Death | GOETHE 1780 AD | Purchase |
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| The incredible story of how German author/playwright Goethe's first novel, a romantic tragedy, inspired a wave of real-life suicides amongst Europe's upper classes. With a nod to the modern debate over gangsta rap music, Kurt Cobain, and obsessive Star Trek fans, the History Bites crew spoof Rosie O'Donnell, presenting an 18th century Rosie with the controversial Goethe as her guest. Goethe wants to talk about his newest work, an ambitious adaptation of Faust. Rosie wants to talk about his first big hit, The Sorrows of Werther, and the rabid fan reaction. Plus the controversy over literature and suicide dominates the airwaves in parodies of Greta Von Susteren, The Weakest Link, and Tom Brokaw. | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Moria Dunphy Peter Oldring Danny DiTata Rick Green |
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| Episode 66 | Samurai Goodfellas | RONIN 1703 AD | Purchase |
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| One of the most enduring stories of Japanese history is the legendary tale of the 47 Ronin. When these Samurai lost their leader to a ritual suicide, or Seppuku, they became leaderless Samurai, known as Ronin. They vowed to avenge his death, before committing ritual suicide themselves. This tale of treachery and honour, in which a mob of tough guys avenge the death of their boss, is presented in a wicked parody of The Godfather. As well, we channel surf through Japanese programs like Seppuku With Sue, and The Weakest Samurai. | ||||
| Written by: Jason Taniguchi Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Jason Taniguchi Danny DiTata Rick Green |
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| Episode 67 | Who Killed J.F.C.? | JULIUS CAESER 24 BC | Purchase |
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| The assassination of Julius Caesar as seen through the mirror of the modern political assassinations. Twenty years after the tragedy, Nightline Ted Koppel interviews Roman Citizens who claim Caesar's assassination was NOT a vast government conspiracy, but actually the work of one lone assassin. They claim the government invented the whole Ides of March conspiracy to hide the truth, keep order, and maintain the status quo. "Better to have 70 million Romans believe political change is only possible through groups of high level government figures, rather than the truth, that one person can make a difference and affect history." Along the way we channel surf past parodies of Andy Rooney, The Weakest Link, David Letterman, and Who Wants To Be A Patrician. | ||||
| Written by: Jason Taniguchi Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Bruce Hunter Rick Green |
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| Episode 68 | The Uncivil War | CIVIL WAR 1864 AD | Purchase |
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| The story behind President Abraham Lincoln's decision to issue the Emancipation Proclamation to give the Union forces the high moral ground in a brutal and bloody war is revealed in a parody of West Wing. As well, the Crocodile Hunter goes Slave Hunting in the old south, and the Discovery Channel looks at how marvelous new technologies like the telegraph, Iron Ships, and steam power, are being used to make war more efficient. Mass production leads to mass destruction. Plus the game show "The Weakest Lincoln" is to die for. Literally. | ||||
| Written by: Duncan McKenzie Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Duncan McKenzie Danny DiTata Rick Green |
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| Episode 69 | Temptation Monastery | PETER ABELARD 1140 AD | Purchase |
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| Sex & Scandal involving the church. Peter Abelard, a brilliant religious philosopher whose writings helped reform and strengthen the Medieval church, appears on the Howard Stern show. Peter wants to discuss his theories on biblical issues and the interpretation of Christ's works. Howard just wants to talk about how Peter was forcibly castrated for knocking up a church officials daughter. Comedy, farce, sex, and singing as Howard gets Medieval. Meanwhile, other channels carry clever parodies of Oprah, Ed Sullivan, Fashion TV. Plus, Greta Von Susterne in the 12th Century-BEFORE she had the face-lift. | ||||
| Written by: Danny DiTata Jeremy Winkels Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Marium Carvell Rick Green |
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| Episode 70 | Francis & Me | UPPER CANADA REBELLION 1837 AD | Purchase |
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| The second Upper Canada Rebellion lead by Scottish-born yellow journalist & political rabble rouser William Lyon Mackenzie. In a parody of Michael Moore the rebellion becomes Roger & Me meets The Awful Truth meets a few hundred well-armed red-coats. Other early Canadian TV fare includes commercials, game shows, and a spoof of the Crocodile Hunter who's after the 19th Century's most elusive prey—ghosts! | |||||
| Written by: Amy McKenzie Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Wayne Robson Danny DiTata Rick Green |
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| Episode 71 | Terror For The Sake Of Terror | IVAN THE TERRIBLE 1582 AD | Purchase |
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| Oprah invites Ivan the Terrible on her show to talk about the reign of terror his black-shirted secret police have inflicted on Russians for the past 20 years, including the massacre 60,000 in Novgorod, and the murder of his own son. "It's a show about pain, and healing, and moving on." When Ivan proves reluctant to take ownership of his actions, and won't "confront his issues", Oprah brings in Healer Phil to bring closure to Ivan. This episode channels surfs past serfs complaining about Russia's child kidnapping industry, Howard Stern on the Mongols, and Andy Rooney lamenting the good old days of life under Ivan's Secret Police, the terrifying Oprichniks. | ||||
| Written by: Eric Lunsky Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Marium Carvell Eric Lunsky Rick Green |
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| Episode 72 | Harpsichord Wizard | BEETHOVEN 1839 AD | Purchase |
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| In a spoof of every damn award show going, all of the hottest music stars gather to honour the recently deceased Ludwig Von Beethoven. The cream of the Romantic Era present awards, perform their symphonies, and gab with Joan Rivers on the red carpet outside the theatre. In a parody of the Elton John/Eminem duet, the anti-Semitic maestro Richard Wagner sings with converted Jewish composer Felix Mendelssohn. Special guest Patrick McKenna plays the host of the Awards ceremony, Franz Liszt. Plus, on another channel, the 19th century's greatest thinkers face off against Ann Robinson to find out who is "The Weakest Philosopher!" | ||||
| Written by: Amy McKenzie Rick Green |
Staring: Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Danny DiTata Rick Green Special Guest Star: Patrick McKenna |
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| Episode 73 | A Canterbury Murder Tale | BECKET 1170 AD | Purchase |
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| In the 12th century controversial clergyman Thomas Becket was struck down in his cathedral by knights loyal to King Henry II. It's a case of papal power vs. the kings power, separation of church & state, and jurisdiction in courts. The murder case is solved and prosecuted by the cast of Law & Order. Elsewhere on the Medieval dial there's George Burns and Gracie Allen trying to make sense of capital punishment, Fashion TV reviews the latest Chastity belts, and a phone in show explains how giving birth to twins is proof of infidelity. Historical facts, Middle Age beliefs, and modern mirth. | ||||
| Written by: Eric Lunsky Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Sam Kalilieh Eric Lunsky Rick Green |
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| Episode 74 | Xena's Evil Sister | BOADICEA 61 AD | Purchase |
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| A Celtic warrior queen proves to the Romans that women can be just as cruel and blood thirsty as men. In a wicked parody of Thelma and Louise, Boadicea and her daughters seek revenge for a rape by Roman soldiers, that leaves 70,000 people dead. Elsewhere on the dial are Roman Televangelists, David Letterman lists the Top Ten Christian recruiting slogans, slaves compete on Who Wants To Be A Patrician, and Andy Roonicus asks "When is human sacrifice just overkill?" | ||||
| Written by: Duncan McKenzie Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Rick Green |
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| Episode 75 | Kamikaze Save The Day | KAMIKAZE 1281 AD | Purchase |
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| Live coverage of the the great typhoon that saved Japan from the invading armies of Kublai Khan. This incredible story of Mongols beaten by meteorology is presented in a droll spoof of The Weather Channel. We also tune in to ancient Japanese commercials, editorials, game shows, and a Phone-In program on ritual suicide. | ||||
| Written by: Duncan McKenzie Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Jason Taniguchi Rick Green |
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| Episode 76 | Domestic Terrorism | GUY FAWKES 1605 AD | Purchase |
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| The Gunpowder plot by Catholic dissidents makes the Oklahoma City bombing pale by comparison. Or it would have had it succeeded. This near-tragedy is more farce, with evidence that the whole thing was a government conspiracy to incite anti-Catholic sentiments. While the Guy Fawkes story dominates all of the Renaissance News channels, decorating maven Debbie Travis shows Catholics how to hide their priest from the authorities using false walls and a faux fireplace. Plus 17th century dentists offer to give the upper classes beautiful smiles, by transplanting teeth from the lower classes! | ||||
| Written by: Amy McKenzie Rick Green |
Staring: Ron Pardo Janet Van De Graaff Bob Bainborough Teresa Pavlinek Duncan McKenzie Rick Green |
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| Episode 77 | Rock & Roll Has Got To Go! | GREEK MUSIC 340 BC | Purchase |
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| Young people and their loud, sexy music! It's a story as old as Plato. In ancient Athens Greek Elders were outraged by the younger generations lack of interest in organized religion, their rejection of traditional beliefs, and their nerve jangling ne | ||||